Rev. Vanessa Titang

Tag: poem

  • Fair

    Fair

    *A poem/reflection written in prayer on the challenge someone I know currently faces battling cancer.

    There is nothing fair
    About any of this,
    Of children
    That of which we are
    Left to fend for themselves,
    There is nothing fair about there being
    An unknown
    That is always shrouded in mystery;
    Without answers
    I can try to comfort you
    And try I will,
    I ask that you only take from it what you need,
    Here is what I believe:
    There is nothing “fair”
    About the suffering you endure
    And it is not an act of spite,
    By the Divine;
    The Divine
    —A spirit so grand and yet still seeing your lifetime in its uniqueness
    For the first time;
    Spirit, an entity timeless
    And endless
    Thus, always in flux;
    Knows even metamorphoses involve mutation,
    At levels, we can not perceive;
    The cosmos are so great and complex, and yet their workings are also part of and shaped by the microscopic;
    Spirit may stir the workings,
    Yet pain is but
    A byproduct,
    unintended,
    This we may never rightly understand;
    Breathe, dear one,
    It is not fair,
    Nor is it your fault,
    In this moment, I can do nothing to absolve your hurting,
    But I can be present
    With you,
    for you,
    Holding you in this temporal comfort of embrace,
    I can also say nothing,
    For words are meaningless,
    Being explained to one in a crucible;
    As much as I can
    I hold your pain
    In my heart
    In exchange with my love,
    Love that is also an unending
    Blessed gift of the Divine,
    always,
    And for all;

    And still damnit No,
    This
    is not fair.

  • This is Your Life

    This is Your Life

    Welcome to this moment
    Welcome to this now
    Welcome to your only
    In hours, minutes,  seconds
    Welcome to the never to be again,
    As time passes
    By
    This is your now,
    This is your life.

    ***

    Reflection:
    In formation I am learning to be vigilant to what I feel,  think,  and experience in a way I never have before. I regularly take consult in a therapist (something I think everyone should do). In a recent session I confided that I’m done letting fear and what could possibly happen dominate my life  and the associated decision making in the process. If I had let fear take the wheel entirely I would not be in seminary right now; for fear over student loans. This is my one known life. It would be a sin not to live it to the fullest.

  • The Stream

    The Stream

    Spirit,
    A stream, a river,  a flowing body,
    That is what you are,
    And we each are droplets,
    In the course,
    Are bubbling,  babbling,  over the path forward,
    No awareness of our destination,
    Or how we’ll make it
    Through,
    But we are here,
    And flowing,
    In and of,
    Made of,
    Because of
    You
    This our path,
    Destination unknown,
    Are safe and secure by unseen borders,
    Flowing,
    Splashing,
    Going,
    Always moving forward,
    On,
    Marked by shifts,
    Waves,  torrents,
    Boulders,  rocks,
    And
    On we flow

  • Plates

    Plates

    Have you ever tried balancing?
    Balancing on one foot?
    On one foot with eyes closed?
    Putting faith in the process?
    And those around you?
    That as the plates are stacked on the poles you hold
     you will not be knocked over?
    The wind pushed from your lungs?
    The trust in everything diminished?

    You have faith in the gravitational force,
    Of something much bigger
    Than all those present,
    And use your sacred resources
    To strengthen
    Your stance
    Your intuition,
    Your trust,
    First and foremost,
    In yourself,
    For you are
    Held.

  • Mirror Ritual

    Mirror Ritual

    Fragile, human soul,
    Prepare the glass altar
    For your love,
    With love,
    Impeccably,
    Arrange the ornate items
    For this ritual,
    Delicately,
    Here,
    In this sacred space you occupy
    In flesh,
    Conjure your essence forth,
    To be present here to see,
    To gaze upon,
    To experience,
    To honor,
    Beauty and divinity in its true form,
    Staring back at you in the mirror.

  • WorshipWeb: “Dear Divine Spirit”

    I received exciting news earlier this week that a piece I wrote for CPE (clinical pastoral education) was selected to be posted on the Unitarian Universalist Association’s WorshipWeb. (This site is a great resource for UUs to share their writing/music/art for worship and to just connect with what others are doing in worship.

    It had to be edited a teeny bit to remove some ableist wording (glad this was brought to my attention!)

    Anyway, I’m sharing the piece as a link here, enjoy!:

    “Dear Divine Spirit”

  • Formation

    Formation

    Formation is being the adult you always admired, but never thought you could be .

    It is developing figurative muscles you didn’t know lay under your skin.

    It is grasping a colleagues hand in solidarity,  knowing you are both invested in this same,  shared process.

    It is singing Woyaya and understanding the meaning,  despite not knowing the language. 

    Formation is bringing the you,  that was always meant to be into fruition.

    Baby steps that climb you up the mountain.

    One foot at a time.

    This is Formation,  left, right left.

  • 1s and 0s

    1s and 0s

    If I could show you God,
    I’d show you in 1s and 0s,
    I’d evoke the divine
    In binary,
    I’d show you how the great machine,
    That is itself a contradiction,
    Is itself a part of the unknowable,
    Infinite,  infinity that is,
    That realistically should not even be,
    The holy is all that is,
    In,  of and composing existence,
    And you are
    holy,
    Made of,
    and in the everything
    And made even more sacred
    By being the only 1 of you,
    Too made of 1s  and 0s of the divine,
    The holy, holy,
    H01y