Dear Ones,
This evening I will interview before the UUA Ministerial Fellowship Committee.
I have been preparing for this moment since the day I decided to apply to seminary. A successful interview would put me into preliminary fellowship in ministry.
I am not anxious, as I thought I would be. Nerves are there, but I think this is what healthy confidence feels like, or just the realization of being READY.
Blessings to you all!
Graciously,
Vanessa
I conducted my 1st wedding!
The wedding was held at the Wilson Museum, Castine, ME, on July 10th, 2021.
It went wonderfully! The rehearsal was a bit chaotic with the downpour on Friday, July 9th, but we completed a run-through without sound tech. Fortunately the wedding planner was there, and between the two of us we were able to coordinate everyone.
For the wedding, I arrived 30 minutes early to the ceremony on Saturday, in regular dress clothes. I spoke with and coordinated with the wedding planner and sound crew. Fortunately the weather was perfect, and only the damp lawn was of any concern (they used sawdust/ wood shavings to soak up the grounds).
I robed, and we were lined up by 3:55pm and began proceeding once the “bride” was present a little after 4pm.
I was confident in my presentation, and honestly not anxious at all! I think I missed a word twice, but effectively reworded so it was not obvious.The audience was receptive to the ceremony, and some laughs were included. The “groom” teared up (maybe allergies?). There was much “cheering and whooping” at the end.
Afterward I spoke with the musicians and complimented them on a beautiful accompaniment. I was approached by a few attendees; and I spoke with the mother of the bride and father of the groom afterward–all had only positive things to say about the ceremony, and seemed very happy.
I must say I felt very comfortable and confident in my ministerial role. This has been an affirming event in my formation.
In ministry I am sure I am where I was meant to be.
I am coming up for air.
This has been a year unlike I have ever known. With the pandemic, one tumultuous event after another, and then I’m going to school for ministry. In truth ministry is where I surface, and gasp– gulping in a deep breath. My figurative lungs expand and I realize I am tired. I am a mere mortal and it is in these brief moments that I breathe, that I let my body relax into the protective feeling that is exhaustion.
I am by nature an overachiever, but this is no longer a quest for an A+ grade. I’m coming to terms with that. This is about being; being a minister and being at my core human. In being a burgeoning minister I am working on cultivating a non-anxious presence.
A non-anxious presence–It sounds beautiful, almost poetic to have such resolve. But it is not easy. I am trying though. I must confess I cry (though seldom), but when alone, and have the room I have let go. I let the weight sink in, and release it in liquid form–I cry, and then I am washed anew. My spirit is renewed, and I recall why I am in this position.
The heady content of my coursework–history of global Christianity, community organizing, naturism, and vocational studies is a puzzle scrambling to be pieced together in my mind. These are the tools for building my ministerial knowledge, but this rough and tumble of life is where I’m building my grit. Right now is one of my down moments, but I’m in the process of picking myself up.
I stand, take a breath, and look back from whence I came. I am amazed by the hazardous terrain I have already passed. This is passing through to become.
Rev. Vanessa Titang 