Rev. Vanessa Titang

Tag: ministry

  • To Grow a Minister

    To Grow a Minister

    So far,
    In such a short duration,
    Growth measured in moments not meters
    Who will I be
    When I reach this my formation,
    I’ll learn in the words and faces,
    Nods of encouragement from the congregation,
    Ministerial poise,
    I am learning
    Growing the muscle of a human heart
    In ways I never knew possible,
    Stretching and strengthening the tissue and sinew
    To engulf the needs of others,
    The tears and fears,
    Joys and triumphs,
    Bittersweet memories

  • Formation

    Formation

    Formation is being the adult you always admired, but never thought you could be .

    It is developing figurative muscles you didn’t know lay under your skin.

    It is grasping a colleagues hand in solidarity,  knowing you are both invested in this same,  shared process.

    It is singing Woyaya and understanding the meaning,  despite not knowing the language. 

    Formation is bringing the you,  that was always meant to be into fruition.

    Baby steps that climb you up the mountain.

    One foot at a time.

    This is Formation,  left, right left.

  • Coastal Wedding Bliss

    Coastal Wedding Bliss

    I conducted my 1st wedding!

    The wedding was held at the Wilson Museum, Castine, ME, on July 10th, 2021.

    It went wonderfully! The rehearsal was a bit chaotic with the downpour on Friday, July 9th,  but we completed a run-through without sound tech.  Fortunately the wedding planner was there,  and between the two of us we were able to coordinate everyone.


    For the wedding, I arrived 30 minutes early to the ceremony on Saturday,   in regular dress clothes. I spoke with and coordinated with the wedding planner and sound crew. Fortunately the weather was perfect, and only the damp lawn was of any concern (they used sawdust/ wood shavings to soak up the grounds). 


    I robed, and we were lined up by 3:55pm and began proceeding once the “bride” was present a little after 4pm.
    I was confident in my presentation, and honestly not anxious at all! I think I missed a word twice, but effectively reworded so it was not obvious.The audience was receptive to the ceremony,  and some laughs were included. The “groom” teared up (maybe allergies?). There was much “cheering and whooping” at the end. 

    Afterward I spoke with the musicians and complimented them on a beautiful accompaniment. I was approached by a few attendees; and I spoke with the mother of the bride and father of the groom afterward–all had only positive things to say about the ceremony,  and seemed very happy.


    I must say I felt very comfortable and confident in my ministerial role. This has been an affirming event in my formation. 

    In ministry I am sure I am where I was meant to be.

  • “Who Ministers to the Minister?”

    In the busyness of life in the past few months I have let this blog take a backseat to ministry, and life in general. On May 23rd I led my last service for the 2020-21 academic year, at the
    congregation in Castine. I will return in the fall, to intern at the 3 church collaborative.

    This last service was put together in a mad dash of things happening, and yet I feel it is one of my favorites. It was created for the May theme of “story”. The sermon was entitled “Tell Your Story”, and implored listeners to take an active role in storytelling, for fear the loss of histories over time. I was very satisfied with the service, was complemented and could see the evidence of my growth.

    I am embarking now in taking CPE (clinical Pastoral education) for c the summer. My original program was canceled due to low enrollment, so I’m not doing an online based program that I was fortunate to have one of my fellow seminarians recommend. Alas, I still need to figure out where I’m going to get my pastoral hours. I’m working with the Castine church, but am also looking in to local hospices and nursing homes.

    In regard to Castine, I was recently confronted with a huge moment in the lives of our congregants. One of the young church leaders suddenly took I’ll and was put on life support. Her slow passing is a huge pill to swallow. I was tasked with seeing to the family the evening she took ill, as the minister was out of state. There was little I could do, and due to Covid restrictions I was unable to be the re for them. I cried in the car after I dressed in my clergy attire waiting on what to do. My supervising minister had advised me when we spoke, “steely yourself”. I’m good at shutting off my emotions when confronted by extreme tragedy, but it is still necessary to release. I did that in the car, then did as she had advised.

    I begin CPE class this evening. While I’m not anxious to start another class, I’m in need of processes everything occurring. I’m grateful for the surrounding of my cohort that I have reviewed to help me figure out what my role is and to be held as well.

  • Surfacing

    Surfacing

    I am coming up for air.

    This has been a year unlike I have ever known. With the pandemic, one tumultuous event after another,  and then I’m going to school for ministry.  In truth ministry is where I surface, and gasp– gulping in a deep breath. My figurative lungs expand and I realize I am tired.  I am a mere mortal and it is in these brief moments that I breathe,  that I let my body relax into the protective feeling that is exhaustion. 

    I am by nature an overachiever, but this is no longer a quest for an A+ grade.  I’m coming to terms with that.  This is about being; being a minister and being at my core human. In being a burgeoning minister I am working on cultivating a non-anxious presence. 

    A non-anxious presence–It sounds beautiful,  almost poetic to have such resolve.  But it is not easy. I am trying though.  I must confess I cry (though seldom),  but when alone,  and have the room I have let go. I let the weight sink in,  and release it in liquid form–I cry,  and then I am washed anew.  My spirit is renewed,  and I recall why I am in this position.

    The heady content of my coursework–history of global Christianity,  community organizing, naturism,  and vocational studies is a puzzle scrambling to be pieced together in my mind. These are the tools for building my ministerial knowledge,  but this rough and tumble of life is where I’m building my grit.  Right now is one of my down moments,  but I’m in the process of picking myself up.

    I stand, take a breath,  and look back from whence I came.  I am amazed by the hazardous terrain I have already passed. This is passing through to become.

  • Miraculous – A Theology

    Miraculous – A Theology

     ~ SHE OF LETTERS 

    This existence is one,
    All is connected,
    You, me, creatures, objects, great and small
    The beginning and end,
    Entwined with us all
    Out of the nothing, the something formed,
    With innate innocence,
    A peaceful being of neutrality,
    Uninfluenced by established humanity,
    This is the beginning of each little galaxy,
    Inside another,
    The endless universe,
    That composes all,
    The value free existence
    Neither good nor evil,
    Just, just;
    This is all,
    But then enters complexity,
    Of competing beings,
    Vying for sustained existence,
    In a space of resource finitude,
    This is millions upon millions of life forms,
    Organic material,
    Forces of nature,
    Air, water, fire, earth,
    Coalescing upon and as a miraculous heavenly body,
    In an endless sea of space,
    Thus this is home,
    We,
    We are,
    And we are
    home.

    (Originally posted at https://sheofletters.wordpress.com/2019/12/03/miraculous-a-theology/ )

    I wrote this poem in my first year as an Masters of Divinity student, prior to the month of intensive courses in Chicago. I grew throughout the first semester, and the winter break gave me the opportunity to really reflect on this, largely through one of my favorite past times — writing poetry. i posted this on my persona blog, and reflect back on this often. I realize in the poetry I wrote more about my beliefs in the cosmos, and ultimate existence than I had initially thought I did.