Rev. Vanessa Titang

Category: poetry

  • Bruxism (A Prayer for Hard Times)

    There is tension in my body;

    teeth are set on edge,

    This is how my body holds stress,

    carrying this heavy weight,

    That I’m not even aware of

    Until I feel it manifest:

    This pressure;

    Unrecognized burdens

    Are weighing

    And wearing

    Down bone and sinew,

    And I have nothing

    but

    to pray,

    Soul laid bare,

    My spirit needing release

    A vent for so much pressure,

    I am at times forgetful of this force in and around

    That thus allows me space for relief,

    Spirit!

    Here I lay down this weight,

    This anxious mind,

    Into your enveloping grace.

  • This is Your Life

    This is Your Life

    Welcome to this moment
    Welcome to this now
    Welcome to your only
    In hours, minutes,  seconds
    Welcome to the never to be again,
    As time passes
    By
    This is your now,
    This is your life.

    ***

    Reflection:
    In formation I am learning to be vigilant to what I feel,  think,  and experience in a way I never have before. I regularly take consult in a therapist (something I think everyone should do). In a recent session I confided that I’m done letting fear and what could possibly happen dominate my life  and the associated decision making in the process. If I had let fear take the wheel entirely I would not be in seminary right now; for fear over student loans. This is my one known life. It would be a sin not to live it to the fullest.

  • The Stream

    The Stream

    Spirit,
    A stream, a river,  a flowing body,
    That is what you are,
    And we each are droplets,
    In the course,
    Are bubbling,  babbling,  over the path forward,
    No awareness of our destination,
    Or how we’ll make it
    Through,
    But we are here,
    And flowing,
    In and of,
    Made of,
    Because of
    You
    This our path,
    Destination unknown,
    Are safe and secure by unseen borders,
    Flowing,
    Splashing,
    Going,
    Always moving forward,
    On,
    Marked by shifts,
    Waves,  torrents,
    Boulders,  rocks,
    And
    On we flow

  • Plates

    Plates

    Have you ever tried balancing?
    Balancing on one foot?
    On one foot with eyes closed?
    Putting faith in the process?
    And those around you?
    That as the plates are stacked on the poles you hold
     you will not be knocked over?
    The wind pushed from your lungs?
    The trust in everything diminished?

    You have faith in the gravitational force,
    Of something much bigger
    Than all those present,
    And use your sacred resources
    To strengthen
    Your stance
    Your intuition,
    Your trust,
    First and foremost,
    In yourself,
    For you are
    Held.

  • Mirror Ritual

    Mirror Ritual

    Fragile, human soul,
    Prepare the glass altar
    For your love,
    With love,
    Impeccably,
    Arrange the ornate items
    For this ritual,
    Delicately,
    Here,
    In this sacred space you occupy
    In flesh,
    Conjure your essence forth,
    To be present here to see,
    To gaze upon,
    To experience,
    To honor,
    Beauty and divinity in its true form,
    Staring back at you in the mirror.

  • To Grow a Minister

    To Grow a Minister

    So far,
    In such a short duration,
    Growth measured in moments not meters
    Who will I be
    When I reach this my formation,
    I’ll learn in the words and faces,
    Nods of encouragement from the congregation,
    Ministerial poise,
    I am learning
    Growing the muscle of a human heart
    In ways I never knew possible,
    Stretching and strengthening the tissue and sinew
    To engulf the needs of others,
    The tears and fears,
    Joys and triumphs,
    Bittersweet memories

  • Pews

    Pews

    Hard wood,
    A stern reminder of penance,
    But a view of trees,
    Blowing,
    Serenaded by breeze
    Framed above my head,
    As patients pass,
    Bowed head,
    Convent for confusion,
    A sacred space to heal
    The mind, spirit, and
    Soul to first,
    Or once again find,
    Here on this pew,
    I see their dance
    And chants,
    A longing for belonging,
    A need to find self and security,
    And I am here,
    Upon my pew,
    Watching, waiting
    A patient,
    Listening, loving ear
    To not just observe,
    but to genuinely hear.

  • WorshipWeb: “Dear Divine Spirit”

    I received exciting news earlier this week that a piece I wrote for CPE (clinical pastoral education) was selected to be posted on the Unitarian Universalist Association’s WorshipWeb. (This site is a great resource for UUs to share their writing/music/art for worship and to just connect with what others are doing in worship.

    It had to be edited a teeny bit to remove some ableist wording (glad this was brought to my attention!)

    Anyway, I’m sharing the piece as a link here, enjoy!:

    “Dear Divine Spirit”

  • Formation

    Formation

    Formation is being the adult you always admired, but never thought you could be .

    It is developing figurative muscles you didn’t know lay under your skin.

    It is grasping a colleagues hand in solidarity,  knowing you are both invested in this same,  shared process.

    It is singing Woyaya and understanding the meaning,  despite not knowing the language. 

    Formation is bringing the you,  that was always meant to be into fruition.

    Baby steps that climb you up the mountain.

    One foot at a time.

    This is Formation,  left, right left.